Craig and I have discussed our career plans with a lot of people, and so far the most negative reaction has come from my parents. This is particularly difficult for me, as it marks the first time we’ve had a significant disagreement about my life’s direction. Everything up to now – magnet middle school, magnet high school, college, grad school – has absolutely thrilled my parents. I was going to get a PhD and be the doctor that my conservative Asian mother had always dreamed of. “Passive income world playboy” doesn’t appear to hold quite the same cachet for her.
What keeps me going now is something Craig told me. I don’t want to spend my whole life blindly spinning my wheels with no destination. I want to be different, to distinguish myself. I’m not sure yet whether that will be through fame, fortune, or some other means, but it has to happen somehow. So what does that mean?
To distinguish yourself, at some point you have to choose a path that no one else would. If you make the same choices as everyone else, you’ll end up like everyone else. You have to do something crazy – make the risky choice that only makes sense in retrospect.
In the end, what it comes down to is believing in yourself. The last year of my life has completely changed how I see myself. For the first time, I am confident that I will succeed, even against all odds. Most likely that success won’t come the way I expect. Maybe it will. But I’m ready to walk a path that no one else can and I’m excited to see where I end up.
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I’m willing to guess that most of the people you’ve talked with have little stake in your success or failure – it will not reflect on them in any way and they are mostly not connected to it, except potential investors perhaps, who nonetheless would necessarily feel the reward outweighs the risk. Your friends and potential business partners you’ve discussed this (ad)venture with are mostly thrilled because they know you as intelligent and driven, and share your rosy outlook. More than that, your potential success provides a light for those of us mired in the status quo to perhaps follow your footsteps and use some of our own resources to grasp for happiness through unconventional means as well. We all want you to succeed not just for you, but for us, too.
Your parents love you in a way that no one else does or can. They’ve picked you up after you skinned both knees, and gotten the chance to see you achieve those things they want for you like college and grad school. Aware of the difficult things in this world, they still want the best and are probably unwilling or unprepared to let you step out from the safety of a Berkley doctorate and a steady income into a world where you have to provide your own health insurance. They’ve taken sole and direct care of you for 18 years and while they approve of how you spent the next 8, they’re just not so sure that where you go from there is safe. And frankly, neither are you – this is uncharted territory, why else would we go there? But they can’t pick you up anymore if you stumble, and while you know you can do so for yourself, just consider how tough that must be for a parent.
So use all those wonderful new communication skills you’ve learned, take a look from their side of the equation, and try to sympathize. However it works out, you’ll still be their stupid kid. Besides, you wouldn’t want your life to have a rewind/erase button anyway. Or a volume control.
But you knew all that.
Hey, you should look up my bro sometime.
It’s scary how similar our paths are. not exactly but close.
I’m dealing with the same issues with my parents after quitting my corporate job. I feel ya.
I like the way Steve Jobs thinks. Whenever you’re faced with a big decision, just think from a perspective that when you’re dead, you’re dead (poor wording, see his Stanford speech).
Anyway, you’re doing the right thing, and I agree with Joe that you should try to stay calm and show understanding when talking to your parents even if they get mad. (I”m working on this myself and I’m living with them right now!)
P.S. I’ve also been doing the 30 day challenge thanks to you. It’s been rough. I made a $26 sale, but it was more fool’s gold. Still working my butt off with this internet marketing business.
Hey Niels
Caleb here, we met in San Fran at AoS.
Do what you feel like you should do.
Don’t let anyone steal your dreams.
Although my family isn’t asian, so I’m sure it’s not as bad as
the heat you’re catching. I got the same stuff from my parents.
But you know what?
My first year sucked, I made a lot of mistakes, but just ready,
fire, aim and correct along the way. This 2nd year of full-time
copywriter is going really good – some rough spots here and
there — it’s to be expected.
Plus, I’m building a business on the side with a business partner.
You’re doing the right thing by doing the 30 day challenge BTW.
Keep it up!
LAter
Caleb