Recent essays – Niels Hoven

Dammit Citibank, I don’t understand WTF you’re saying!

on May 26, 2007

I make it a habit to pay off my credit card balances in full every month. However, due to a recent email mishap, I was three days late on a payment for my Citi Dividend card. I made the minimum payment on time, thanks to my automatic bill pay, but the bill wasn’t paid in full until a few days after.

This month, I noticed a $1.29 finance charge on my bill. I expected a few pennies of interest from the late payment, but over a dollar? So I emailed Citibank. Maybe you can make some sense of the conversation:

how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 05:11:07 PM 1 of 1
You wrote:

On my most recent statement I have the charge:
05/14 05/14 00000000 PURCHASES*FINANCE CHARGE*PERIODIC RATE Standard Purch 1.29
Could you explain how this was computed? It seems larger than I expected for being three days late with a payment.

Re: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 06:55:01 PM 1 of 1
Customer Service Wrote:

Paying your balance in full by the payment due date saves you money because it allows you to take advantage of your 20-25 day grace period on purchases. If you wish to take advantage of this period, simply make sure that we receive your full payment by the payment due date.

However, if we do not receive your full payment by the payment due date every month, the finance charges for purchases will begin to accrue from the date the transaction is added to your balance. They will continue to accrue until payment in full is credited to your account. This means that when you make your final payment on these balances, you will pay interest for the time between the date your last statement prints and the date your payment is credited to your account.

Once you have paid your account in full by the payment due date for two consecutive months, you may again be able to take advantage of the 20-25 day grace period.

Thank you for using our website.

RE: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 07:28:21 PM 1 of 1
You wrote:

So to clarify – if I pay my bill on time, but not in full, then on future bills I am charged interest for the time between my statement date and the date my payment is credited to my account?

RE: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 09:32:05 PM 1 of 1
Customer Service Wrote:

We calculate your finance charges in the following manner:

The daily balance for purchases and cash advances is multiplied by the daily periodic rate each day of the billing period, including the statement closing date. The daily balance includes the beginning balance for purchases and cash advances, plus new transactions and finance charges from the previous day, minus any new payments or credits. The balance subject to finance charges equals the total of all daily balances for the billing period, divided by the number of days in the billing period. The finance charge for purchases and cash advances is the balance subject to finance charges, multiplied by the number of days in the billing period and then by the daily periodic rate.

Thank you for using our website.

Seriously, do they pay someone to make this unintelligible? I was inches away from getting a Ph.D. in engineering and I can’t even understand the last message.

I think they’re telling me that if I don’t pay my balance in full, then for the next two months I will be charged interest starting from the day my statement is printed. Even if the payment due date is three weeks after the statement date, I’ll still be charged interest for that time.

To clarify – even though I didn’t miss a payment due date, I will still be charged interest on future purchases, even if I pay them off before the payment due date as well. I’m pissed. Time to look for a new credit card.

Open your mouth and close your eyes…

on May 25, 2007

I travel to experience new cultures. I don’t want to wander around in a tour group, looking at a culture from the outside. I want to meet the locals, and I certainly don’t want to eat at restaurants whose menus have English translations. As a result, approximately 75% of my meals are absolutely delicious, while another 25% areâ€¦ dining adventures.

My last night in Florence, I ordered a dish at one restaurant that was something with tomato and basil. I didn’t know what that something was, but I figured I’m in Italy – anything with tomato and basil must be good, right? I ordered, and the water asked me, “Medium?” I looked puzzled, so he said again, “Medium? Or rare?”

Ah, the something is a kind of meat! So I ordered it rare, naturally.

I was excited. And then it arrived. I took a look at the quivering mass of grey matter on my plate and realized, “Oh my God, I’ve ordered brain.” And of course, I had to order it raw.

Except of course, it wasn’t. Turns out entrecoat isn’t brain, it’s just a cut of beef near the ribs. But I suppose it’s only a matter of timeâ€¦

Cognitive dissonance at the pizzeria

on May 21, 2007

After my run, I found myself with a craving for gourmet pizza. I already had dinner plans, so I figured I would swing by Cheeseboard Pizza for a single slice, just to tide me over. But when I got there, the line was huge. “If I’m going to stand in a line that long, I’m buying two slices,” I thought to myself.

Isn’t that weird? I genuinely wanted a second slice of pizza, just because the line was long. Why should the length of the line affect my desire for pizza?

I think it’s cognitive dissonance, but it’s operating on two levels. If I wait in a really long line for pizza, that pizza is going to taste particularly good. It has to, because my brain has to rationalize spending all that time in line. In this case, I think my brain subconsciously recognized that cognitive dissonance was going to set in, that the pizza was going to be unusually good, and therefore that investing in a second slice would be worthwhile.

The kicker is that Cheeseboard Pizza throws in a free half slice with every purchase. You get 1.5 slices for $2.25, or 2.5 slices for $4.50. So the long line not only persuaded my brain that it should buy more pizza, but that it should accept a worse deal on it.

I’m not sure what the takehome lesson is here. Perhaps that lousy customer service can actually help your sales? Social psychologists, would you care to weigh in?

Random babysitting tip: how to keep a kid quiet

on May 11, 2007

A friend of a friend has a gig babysitting for a professor’s kid after school. She takes him to the park, gives him something sugary and lets him run around until he wears himself out. Then it’s back home for the inevitable sugar crash and a quiet evening. Brilliant! Now all I need is someone to trust me with their children.

My first post-Beauty and the Geek photoshoot

on May 10, 2007

I did a photoshoot yesterday for an upcoming magazine interview. We shot a few rolls by the electrical engineering building on the UC Berkeley campus, where I was mobbed by freshmen girls, and a few rolls in a local bar, where I was not. I felt a little self-conscious working it for the camera in the middle of the day in a very public place. I wonder how many photoshoots you have to do before that goes away.

I have to say that the photoshoot is a somewhat more positive experience when the photographer is trying to make you look cool, rather than as geeky as possible.